Thankfulness....

I just wanted to write a little post of thankfulness tonight. As heavy as my heart is, missing my little boy, wanting to be there with him, and having to be home right now (hopefully I will feel better and can be with my son again soon), I am praising God for all that He has done and the ways He has shown Himself through this whole situation. Through the incredibly difficult times and also the praises, He has continued to hold our hand and I just have to write down some of the ways I am thankful. Even in pain, I am reminded how much I have to be grateful for. I hope by reading this, those who we are so thankful for (all of you reading this!) will be blessed and know that you have made such a difference in our lives. I know Joe's heart will echo all of these thoughts and prayers. We love you.

1. Thank You, Lord, for wonderful nurses and doctors and care at North Kansas City Hospital- so many kind and loving people through the emotional times there showed me how much You care for me. Thank You for the little things, including the nurse who helped calm me as I panicked when I wasn't hearing Jackson crying or breathing. Thank You for their love and kindness to me. Thank You for all of the kind people there who have followed our story, and post on our blog, email us, and stop to see Jackson's progress when they are here. Thank You for them. Thank You for my sweet nurse who was there through most all of the labor and the encouragement she was to me. Thank You for all of their hard work through all of this when I was so sick to help me and to save my son's life.

2. Thank You, Lord, for the doctor who took little Jackson by C-section. Thank You for giving her the urgency to do that- I truly believe she saved my son's life. Thank You, Jesus! Please bless her so much. Thank You for all of my doctors and my wonderful OB (you know who you are!!) who followed our pregnancy :) and for their loving-kindness through all of this and their wisdom in taking care of me and Jackson- for their visits and the love that they've shown. Thank You for medical technology and knowledge- for being able to have a C-section and live in a country where that is possible. I don't believe Jackson could have made it through a longer labor as stressed as he already was when the decision was made to take him out immediately. Thank You, Lord. Encourage and refresh all of my doctors. Help them to know how incredibly thankful I am for them and how much we love them!!

3. Thank you for the transport team and their hard work in getting Jack to Children's Mercy in time to make the decision to put him on ECMO to save his life. Thank you for their continued interest in him and for their love for him. Please bless them! Pray for their continued work with so many other little ones who need help.

4. Thank you for medications that helped bring my infection down finally in the hospital and the continued medications I am on at home to fight these current infections as well.

5. Thank you for the staff at Heartland Women's for caring and keeping updated on the blog and encouraging me to come in and get checked out and finding out quickly about these current infections so that I can get them taken care of before they get worse. Thank you for their love and support. Please bless them!

6. Thank you for family, Lord. Thank you for our parents and other family members both near and far- for their support for us during these difficult times, in so many tangible ways- from food, phone calls, visits, to laundry, to emotional support, to yardwork, and prayer. Thank you for their hearts. Please bless them and refresh them. Thank you for allowing my mother to be with me through this difficult time as well- a mother's love, support, and understanding is something special as I am realizing more and more.

7. Thank you for pillows, Lord. As silly as that sounds, as I lay in bed last night in pain, I wanted to thank You for pillows to help comfort. So many people don't have them. Thank you for a bed that I can rest in and running water.

8. Thank you for our wise team of doctors and nurses here at Children's Mercy. Oh, Lord, they are wonderful. Please please bless them! Thank you for their diligence in so many ways to take care of our son and do everything possible to save his life. Thank you for their concern and the time that they take to explain things- thank you for their wisdom and hard work. Please give them encouragement today and help them to know how grateful we are for all of them. Thank you for the nurses and the little ways that they all show love to our son. It makes such a difference to us and I know to Jackson. We love them all!!

9. Thank you to the rest of the staff at Children's Mercy and the ways that they are so accommodating and caring. Thank you for the front desk staff and how they go out of their way to bless us and make things easier at this time. Thank you for the people in the cafeteria and the little blessings you have shown us there as well.

10. Thank you for friends and their encouraging posts, emails, phone calls, cards, flowers, prayers, etc. Lord, we couldn't have made it through this without their support. Please bless them. Help them to know how much this has meant to us. Thank you for their love in so many little ways. Help them to know that even though we can't always respond to all of them, that we are so grateful and that their support means so much and has blessed us so much.

11. Lord...thank you for healing Jackson. I don't even know where to begin to start with that... my heart is full and I know we don't deserve Your love. We pray that You are glorified through all of this, and that all will see that You are a powerful God. We are thankful for this trial, as odd as that sounds...even in the difficult times, You have shown Yourself in so many ways and through so many people, and Your comfort has been so tangible. We are so grateful for You- for saving Jackson, but just ultimately for being with us through all of this and showing us more and more how much we need You.

12. Thank You, God, for sending Your Son, Jesus to die for all of us. As I have wrestled with the possibility and pain of potentially losing my son these past few weeks, I am even more amazed and in awe by a God who would sacrifice His Son to die on a cross so that we could know Him personally. I pray that through this, some would come to know Him in a personal way and that our lives can be a testimony to His beauty and love. I pray that anyone who wants to know anything about You, Lord, could ask Joe or I, and we could share about Your love. We are so thankful for Your love for us and truly don't understand it. But we are thankful.

13. Oh Lord...where do I begin to thank You for my wonderful husband? Thank You for the rock that he has been for me through all of this. Thank You for his love and support- for his help when I have been so sick. Thank You for his wisdom in handling so many incredibly difficult decisions when I was sick and unable to be there to do it. Thank You for his strength- for his hard work for our family, and emotional and physical support. Thank You for his diligence in taking care of issues when I am emotional and can't handle it. :) Thank You for his encouragement and love, and for his spiritual leadership and focus on You through all of this. He has helped me to keep focused on what is important and keep giving glory to You. I know he is exhausted, so I pray that You would encourage him and lift up his head. Give him rest and refreshment. Help him to know how very much he is loved and respected by me.

14. Thank you, Lord, for our church body and the love and support they have shown us through this time. Thank You for pastors and friends who cared and prayed for us. Thank You for their love. Thank You for everyone at Bishop Spencer Place and the love they have shown us, and thank you for everyone at Cerner and the care they have shown and continued prayer for us. We are so grateful and humbled by their love.

15. Thank You, Lord for this trial. Thank You for giving us a glimpse into a greater understanding of what so many families go through in situations like this, and the opportunity to get to know so many other parents and family members here at Children's Mercy who are struggling through such difficult times. I pray for them and their families and little ones and pray that we can be a blessing in their lives and an encouragment to them. There are so many people in the world who are going through incredibly difficult times, much worse than ours, some who have lost their children, and the hurt of that is too painful to imagine. I pray that You would comfort them and hold them through these trials...we don't understand but know that You are the ultimate comforter.

16. Thank You, Lord, for all of the many things I have forgotten and the many things yet to mention. They are too numerous. Thank You for being our comforter through these difficult times. We don't know why You allow things sometimes, and it's difficult to understand, but we know that You are good, and You love us more than we can even imagine. Thank You, Jesus, for answering our prayers and showing Yourself more to us through this. Thank You!!! We love You.

And now, with a full heart of thankfulness, I am off to rest for a while hopefully- I have been feeling a little better the last couple hours, enough to be able to sit and write this email, so that is encouraging...missing my son and my husband, but so thankful. Thank you everyone for your love and support- this trial has shown us so much, and so much of it has been through all of you. We love you all. Please continue to pray for our boy. :)

Take care, God bless, and we will keep you posted!! Hopefully soon I will be able to join my hubby by Jackson's side. I have posted the song below that has been resonating in my heart this past weekend as I thank the Lord for all He has done.

Love, Melissa

"Thank You" by the Katinas musical group

Just a little while longer I wanna pray
Can't get You off my mind so I came to say Thank You Lord
Just for loving me
Many times as I do forget
Every need that You have met
Oh thank You Lord, I know You're showing me
You are there when I am down and out You're holding me
Your love is so amazing, Oh it changed me

Chorus:
Here I am with all I am
I raise my hands to worship You
I wanna say thank you, oh thank you
For everything, for who You are
You cover me, You touch my heart, I wanna say thank you

I could have died in my sin but You saved me
Didn't have any hope at all
You gave me peace divine, strength to carry on
I should have been the one to pay
But instead You took my place
My Jesus, words cannot explain
Even though I don't deserve Your love for me
You look beyond my fault and You showed mercy

CHORUS AGAIN :)
I wanna say thank you for the sun
I wanna say thank you for the rain
Everything You do is beautiful I'm so grateful for Your love